Porterville

Justin Porter vs. Santa Claus

2011-09-28T01:47:00.000-07:00

I did not have a religious upbringing. There are very few instances where I found myself inside a church. When we visited my mom's family we would always go to Sunday service, during which my cousins and I spent the entire sermon passing notes. It was much more of a time to see my relatives than anything else.

Another occurred during :) Elementary School (: (I'm writing it like that to emphasize the contrast of my feelings between it and Middle School) when a friend invited me to go to church with her and her family. At the time I was thrilled because a lot of my other friends were active church-goers and they always made it sound awesome - like by not going I was missing out on the best things this life had to offer.

This was before I knew the truth. What I was expecting to be nothing short of a party turned out to be several hours of discomfort and listening to people prattle on about boring crap I didn't understand.

It boiled down to a trifecta of:

I couldn't even talk to my friend who was sitting next to me singing every 5 minutes,
I didn't know any of the songs nor did I care to, and
Since my parents weren't there I had no one to exchange "what the f…?" looks with, so I had to sit there quietly for what felt like ten eternities and deal with it.

Needless to say that put a lasting sour taste in my mouth about church.

Furthermore, my understanding of Christmas was along the lines of: some dudes in the desert brought gifts for a baby who turned out to be Jesus, so now we give kids presents in the hopes that they too will turn out to be Jesus. Even though I now know this to be false, presents remain my favorite part of the holiday.

While I may not have been religious, I believed deeply in Santa Claus. There was no doubt in my mind that a rosy-cheeked fat man was pulled gleefully in a sleigh around the world by flying reindeer, consuming all cookies and milk in his path in a single night. I must admit… I was older than most when my belief in Santa Claus finally died.

But during the years I did believe, Mr. Cringle and I went through a rough patch. Around the age of 8, I started asking Santa for the two things I wanted most in this world:

Magic powers (telekinesis, etc), and
The ability to fly.

I didn't think I was asking for much, but apparently the ass-hats at the North Pole did.

Two Christmas mornings came and went and I was still having to walk everywhere and push things with my hands. But guess who still ate my cookies? Fat, stupid Santa, that's who. After two years of being ignored it was time to take things into my own hands. I decided to use my Spy-Gear, catch Santa, and interrogate the crap out of him.

So I rigged the house. Everything was in place: motion sensor, fingerprinting kit, periscope for easy surveillance around corners, invisible dust to track his footprints, and a bunch of other crap I can't even remember.

I was prepared mentally and physically for what was ahead of me. I slept the opposite direction in my bed so my head was closer to the door, I attempted (and failed) at sleeping with one eye open, and I had a chair and rope waiting downstairs. It was an ambush that would surely entrap even the most cunning and skilled special ops agent.

Alas, I did not wake up to the sound of my motion sensor going off. Santa had come and gone without a peep. He left presents; I still had to pick them up with my hands; the cookies and milk were gone. However this time… there was a letter.

OMFG I had gotten a letter from Santa! FROM SANTA!!!

I ripped it open and read what was essentially an explanation of why he could not give me those two things I wanted so dearly. I was mortified and heartbroken. It was like being rejected from my top choice university, or declined for a new credit card.

But, that year Santa gave me a cash register. It was something I had wanted almost as long as those powers… and you know what? It was the best present I have ever gotten.

Thanks, Santa :)

Dudes Day

2011-09-14T22:50:00.000-07:00

Today at work I discovered an email was going around the office among just the women, organizing a "Ladies' Lunch, aptly named NoDudesDay" and was immediately stricken with retaliatory outrage. Below is the email I promptly sent out to our staff.

*********************

WHO RULES? DUDES DO!

Let's burn some rubber and waste some electricity like we don't care!

Why don't we care?
BECAUSE WE'RE DUDES!

To get you pumped, here are some
MIND-BLOWING DUDE IMAGES!!!

AWESOME!!!!!

We are not getting together for DUDE'S DAY because
WE'RE DUDES!

Instead just make sure you think about how KICK-A** we are!

What?
DUDE'S DAY

When?
EVERY DAY

Where?
WHEREVER DUDES ARE

Why?
BECAUSE WE'RE F***ING DUDES!!!

*********************

So there you have it: "Dudes Day" has officially begun. The activities of Dudes Day pictured above are so awesome, in fact, that one of the ladies at work told me they were tempted to ditch NoDudesDay in favor of it. Luckily Dudes Day is every day so she did not have to choose.

The Magic Pill

2011-09-07T01:43:00.000-07:00

I went to San Diego this weekend to visit my good friend Yasmin for Labor Day. She hosted a potluck and I'm pretty sure I ate my own weight in delicious food stuffs - brisket, potato salad, fruit salad, guacamole, chocolate cake and cookies - all homemade and delicious. Except the cookies. Homemade, I mean… not delicious. Er, the cookies were not homemade, but they were definitely delicious. Do you see what I'm saying?

I felt bad because our consumption orgy was a painful event for Yasmin, as she had her wisdom teeth removed one week prior. Obviously it was a topic of much conversation and all the talk of surgery and anesthesia and painkillers and delirium reminded me of my own wisdom teeth removal.

I only had three wisdom teeth, which made me feel ultra-stupid at the time, but then I found out some people only have one. Losers! My dad on the other hand had four plus a fifth one that grew in after the first four were removed. Anyway, when I was at the pre-op appointment the doctor could barely finish asking if I wanted local or general anesthesia before I blurted out that I wanted "to be totally knocked out."

"I don't want to feel anything, I don't want to see anything, I don't want to remember anything. Knock me out." I instructed.

I seriously would have rather died from an anesthesia overdose than been awake to witness the crunch of bone as my teeth were ripped from my blood-soaked face. So he gave me a pill and instructed me to take it an hour before the surgery. Simple enough.

Surgery day rolled around and an hour before the appointment I took the little pill. My mom drove me to the doctor's office and while in the waiting room I started feeling a little strange. I suddenly grabbed my mom's shoulder and mumbled, "Mom, that wall just turned into a treehouse." On the other side of the room a pillar I was staring at had morphed into a tree trunk with a treehouse at the top and the entire waiting room turned into a forest. It hit me like a sack of bricks; I was high as a kite and loving every minute.

The entire series of events is slightly foggy, but this how I remember it:

Take magic pill
Ride to doctor's office in car, a normal unsuspecting citizen
Develop superpowers and turn waiting room into a forest of joy with my mind
Teleport to operating chair, look down and see some bitch jab a needle into my arm
Wake up on couch at home the following day; superpowers are gone

Soon after I regained consciousness I learned there is a Texas state law requiring outpatients from a surgery like this to leave the facility of their own volition. This of course brings up a lot of valid questions:

How did I "walk" to the car afterward?
Did anyone watching think I was being kidnapped?
If so, why did they not call the police?
Do people call the police anymore?
How can 9-1-1 ever be busy?
Why do cell phones always have no bars at critical points in movies?
When is the new iPhone coming out?

The point is I made it home somehow, looked like a chipmunk and got to drink Ensure for a week. Haha, lol, lmfao, rotflmao… sometimes I don't catch my little mistakes until after I've typed them.

Had to. I had to drink Ensure for a week.

The one thing I now fear most about getting old? Drinking Ensure to survive. Remember that episode of "Fear Factor" where the guy has to eat a Bull's testicle and ends up vomiting? Of course you do. Well that is my newfound reaction to Ensure. Hopefully I will have my teeth forever and jaw muscles of a god and never need to drink my food. Or maybe I'll just take a magic pill before every meal and think I'm drinking a can of cookie dough.

Montage Doodle

2011-09-07T00:43:00.000-07:00

I've been playing with a friend's Wacom tablet recently and I think I want to get one. Since it's in my possession and I'm an adult and can do anything I want without asking permission, I decided to doodle in Photoshop a little. What I ended up creating is a mini-montage (montage? collage? composite? shut up) based on one of my previous entries (7th Grade Pirate).

Enjoy.

I Scream, You Scream, We All Scream Because We Ate Too Much

2011-08-31T13:48:00.000-07:00

I have what you might call… a sweet tooth. A major sweet tooth. I could consume ice cream and chocolate morning, noon and night, and would still want to gorge myself on more. This weekend I was in Vegas with a group of people and we all went for gelato. Everyone else got single scoops, served in these little cups the size of a kitten's head. I on the other hand walked away with a platter of gelato, sitting on a bed of fudge and topped with M&Ms, as seen below.

It's like some kind of mind-controlling disease, perhaps even a "sugar alien" parasite living in my bowels. There are random periods of life where I can go without wanting/needing any sweets for a couple weeks, then all of a sudden the cravings return full-force and I'm ready to sell my country and soul for a Snickers.

If I'm at work, usually around 4pm my sweet tooth goes into overdrive. I am suddenly dying of a sugar-craving, all reason and logic abandoned, on the verge of throwing computer monitors at my co-workers' faces if I'm not immediately presented with and allowed to indulge in a Rolo McFlurry (which are amazing by the way). I try to resist this craving but often can't. Sometimes I make the mistake of deciding to save money and I buy a half-gallon of ice cream at the grocery store to supplant my McFlurry needs. But within three hours after purchase, 2/3 of the carton is gone.

"Oh that's nothing, I've eaten an entire bag of chips before, I know exactly how you feel!" Did you also eat a tub of ice cream and a box of cookies and an entire medium pizza?! Do that then we'll talk >:(

Despite my apparent predilection for ice cream, cookies seem to be my main weakness. Any kind of cookie. You can ask my friend Hector, I always somehow manage to eat any and all available cookies -like Cookie Monster but much more sarcastic. I think in some respects this behavior extends beyond sweets; it may even constitute an eating disorder, because I eat anything in front of me.

"I'm the same way, if it's in front of me I just eat it all! Haha!" That's great, but I don't think you understand. I eat what's in front of me until I feel sick, so sick that the cramping of my stomach nearly causes me to spasm and smash my head into the table. Do I stop? Absolutely not.

I wait out the discomfort until I feel like I've got a little more room, then I eat some more. "Why won't the pain stop?!?" I cry as I stuff another cinnamon roll into my mouth. If it's in front of me I will eat it, even if that means it will be my last meal in life because of the "sudden and unexplained" explosion of my stomach. "Why don't you just stop eating?" Why don't you stop breathing?! Because I can't :(

It's been like this as long as I can remember. One time when I was young, probably sometime in elementary school, I went to the kitchen looking for something to eat. It was of course my sweet tooth that was driving me, and I was especially looking to find something… cookie related.

I opened the fridge and to my sweet delight, there was a container with cookies pictured on the front of it. Jackpot! I had landed in cookie dough Heaven and was about to be rewarded for all the good things I had done and was going to do in the future. I pulled the container off the shelf, opened it up and thought to myself, "That's odd, I've never seen white cookie dough before. Oh well!" So I dipped my finger in and had a taste.

It was awful. It tasted nothing like cookie dough. It was Crisco.

And that's the day I learned what Crisco was, specifically that it was not cookie dough. You would think an event like this would've curbed my appetite for sweets at least a little bit, similar to the way I couldn't drink Hawaiian Punch anymore after I had it with pizza one evening then vomited all night long. But no, it didn't phase me at all - now I just get sad when I see cans of Crisco.

7th Grade Pirate

2011-08-29T15:35:00.000-07:00

It was the Summer of 1995, and for me it was the Summer between 6th and 7th grade, a.k.a. Middle School. If I had the ability to use a font that had blood dripping from the letters, that's what I would've used for Middle School, but unfortunately the closest I can get is bold-italics with a blood red font, black background and the largest font size available.

I think we can all agree that Middle School is the worst time of our lives - a time when girls are getting boobs and guys are constantly squawking because their balls are dropping - and everyone is making fun of everyone else for it… it and everything else imaginable.

The beginning of 7th grade was not far away, so I was outside playing with my brother and making a movie and playing with the dog and in general enjoying the crap out of one of the last weekends of Summer. My dad was mowing the lawn, the sun was shining bright, my mom was making something wonderful for dinner. It was an all-around great day, rife with possibility.

That night, I woke up in the middle of the night screaming, my eye in more pain than I had ever felt in my life up to that point (and probably since). Imagine for a moment that your eye is being stabbed with a chainsaw - that is what I was experiencing. My parents, terrified by my blood-curdling screams of "TAKE IT OUT, TAKE MY EYE OUT!!! GET MY EYE OUT OF MY HEAD!!!!" rushed me to the emergency room.

Once the doctors reviewed the scans they were able to take in between my death-threats and profanity, it was discovered a tiny piece of metal sitting on my eye had begun to rust. "Metal??" you say? "Eye?!?" "RUST?!?!" Yes, all those things, combined and applied to my body. The theory that still stands to this day is: while I was playing outside and naively thinking nothing could go wrong in my life, my dad hit something with his mower that caused a tiny piece of metal to fly into my eye. It was so small that it didn't hurt and so I didn't feel anything until it started rusting. Thanks, Dad!

The solution: Drill it out. And by that I mean, use a drill-type device to fling the metal out of my eye, since apparently just pulling it off my eye was likely to cause more damage than a good old-fashioned "flinging." Who was I to argue how the task was accomplished? Drill? Yes. Flinging? Let's do it. Possible blindness and/or stabbing of my eye? As long as the pain stops. All I cared about was getting the rusting piece of metal out of my eye before I reached the point of tearing my eye out of its socket.

For the procedure, they wanted to put this spring-like device in my eye that would hold it open, but my eye was so sensitive that I refused. I instead decided the best course of action would be for me to hold my eyelids wide open through sheer will while a drill came hurtling toward my eyeball. And I did. I was in so much pain and so determined for it to stop that I kept my eye wide open and my head totally still while the doctor slowly came at my eye with the drill, and proceeded to fling the piece of metal bit by bit out of my eye.

After it was all said and done, I ~~had~~ got to wear an eyepatch over my eye for about a month. What an honor! Luckily this is right when school was starting so I had the pleasure of wearing it to Middle School. Who says looking like a pirate isn't cool in the 7th grade? Everyone. Everyone at my school.

Spiders. Let's Kill Them All.

2011-08-24T13:02:00.000-07:00

In a way, I wish Lady Gaga would stop referring to her fans as "little monsters," because although she means it as a term of endearment, what does it make me think of? SPIDERS.

Horrible, gross, breeding, life-sucking spiders; creatures whose grotesquery is matched only by their own bloodlust. They are miniature monsters with eight legs and a million horrid eyes and little hairs everywhere and fangs and stingers who poop out sticky web shit and then build their home out of it. Disgusting.

"But Justin, spiders are good - they catch and eat bugs." Shut up. They don't need to catch bugs in the ceiling corner of my room or in my window sill - that's what pest control is for. They don't need to catch bugs by crawling around in my bed while I sleep - that's what laundry days and general hygiene are for. I don't need (or want) to see or hear about or think about spiders ever. They are evil demon creatures born from Hellfire and I hate them.

When I try to think back to when my intense hatred of spiders began, I remember a story from a book titled Scary Stories To Tell In The Dark. I don't remember the details, but in short, this girl woke up with a pimple on her face. So, she medicated and put cover-up on it and let it run its course.

No big deal, right? WRONG. It wasn't a pimple, oh no no no. It was a FUCKING SPIDER EGG, and when her pimple finally "popped" a few hundred tiny Hellfire demons came CRAWLING OUT OF HER FUCKING FACE. WHAT THE FUCK?!?!

I would kill myself instantly if that ever even came close to happening to me. I'm already tempted to throw myself in front of a moving bus anytime I get a pimple. Now add the possibility of spider eggs hatching on my face and you've got a Justin that's constantly on the verge of a manic suicidal rampage. How are you supposed to know if a pimple is ever really a pimple? How can you trust anything that happens on your face?! You can't.

Why? Because of spiders. They have ruined pimples. They have ruined our faces. They have ruined everything.

I just killed a spider.

Update
For any of you who think my language in this post was uncalled for, I beg to differ. Here is the picture that was in the book for this story:

Getting Things Done

2011-08-23T19:11:00.000-07:00

I never seem to finish anything in my personal life. In my work life, sure, but not at home. In fact the only things I ever seem to finish at home are cartons of ice cream and doing taxes. It is so much of an issue that it has actually come up briefly in a previous post. So what do I mean, exactly? Let's take a look at some examples.

1) My website. It's been "under construction" since 2007. Why? It would take me 20 minutes on iWeb to throw together and publish something that, while may be basic, would 100% get the job done. Furthermore, I have at least two friends that are essentially pros at building websites. I'm sure if I put together the layout/structure I had in mind and even made some graphics, they would do the rest. Maybe not, but at least I could ask, and I haven't even done that much. Hopefully I can get that bastard updated sometime this decade… maybe even this year! #getitdoneby2012

2) My blogs. I started this entry three days ago and until today had only gotten to the end of example 1. I also have three other entries that are still drafts - I don't even think I've looked at them a second time since I first worked on them. "Out of sight, out of mind" seems to be my mantra. This probably explains why I am the worst at staying in touch with friends that don't live nearby. Oh, you're moving to NYC?? Awesome, congrats! I can't wait to come visit you! Friendship over.

3) My adventures. One time, when I was in elementary school, my parents were fighting and I got fed up. So, I decided "fuck these guys, I'm running away." I got out my red plastic suitcase (about the size of two briefcases stacked on top of one another), packed it up, and ran away. I made it to the edge of our subdivision when I decided I'd had enough and fell asleep in some bushes. After a short while I was discovered by police who had been out looking for me and was driven home. Knowing how exhausting it actually is, I have not tried to run away since.

4) My scripts. I have started many scripts that are, to this day, between 1 and 3 pages long. I'm not sure if this is a more accurate reflection of my attention span, skill as a writer or confidence in my ideas. Regardless, one of my favorites is this:

INT. OFFICE BUILDING

CLAY sits at a large desk, in front of his three-screened computer. On screen are rows of streaming code, to which he is adding and subtracting.

STEPHEN ALTMAN walks up from behind the screens, smiling at Clay.

STEPHEN

They’re in the pyramid. You wanna come?

CLAY

Sure, just a second.

Clay quickly types in one last command, then grabs his coat and walks with Stephen.

STEPHEN

Are you betting on this one?

Clay chuckles.

CLAY

You know I don’t.

(sigh)

I just write the damn thing.

The two walk out of the office, and down a hallway to another room. There is an extensive security checkpoint, and after both are approved, they enter another room, then into the Hive.
On the wall are what look like monitors of a TV station, multiple camera angles all

That's it… it ends mid-sentence. "Camera angles all" what? Who cares! Did I pass out while typing? Was I distracted by an explosion? And if so, did I not come back to my computer at some point and notice that I had half a page - of what I think is an intriguing start to a screenplay - and stopped in the middle of a sentence? Did the person who caused the explosion save and close my script so that I wouldn't see or think about it ever again? Unclear.

Here is another one of my gems:

EXT. APARTMENT BUILDING ENTRANCE - NIGHT

Fin. Roll credits. This one is apparently an art film, where the answers to life's questions come in the form of an exterior night shot of an apartment building. And the Oscar goes to me.

5) My sleeping habits. This one may not fully apply to "not finishing things" but it relates somewhat and is also a glorious example of my abundant and finely tuned procrastination abilities, so I'm including it. I seem completely incapable of making it into my bed, ready to sleep, at a reasonable hour. I'm pretty sure that if someone observed my evening behavior for a few days they would have me committed and I would have my own Barbara Walters 20/20 prime-time specials that is broadcast live around the globe because of how serious and tragic it is.

I'm not even sure what the problem is, honestly. I realize around midnight that the hour is growing late and a small part of me says "get in the shower, MORON!" yet every fiber of my being resists performing the nightly ritual of showering, brushing my teeth, pampering my face, gargling with listerine, taking my contacts out, blah blah blah. I'm so over it! How much longer do I have to deal with that crap? When am I going to be able to simply crash in my bed and while I'm sleeping have personal robots that bathe me, brush my teeth, floss (OMG I HATE FLOSSING - It's up their with doing laundry and cleaning the toilet and lying to homeless people that I don't have any change), etc. But of course, eventually there is a point where my reluctant half becomes so exhausted that has little choice but to obey the "good" half and take a shower to start the whole process. And by 4am I'm usually asleep… if it's a week-night. Weekends are another story that I don't even want to start talking about - in fact I did start talking about it and got so overwhelmed I almost deleted my blog off the internet altogether. So I stopped.

6) Harbinger Magazine. Back in 2007 - the same year construction began on my website - I started an online magazine because I suddenly had the itch to do so. "Who get's an itch to start an online magazine?" you might say. I do… and for the record, this is not the strangest project I've suddenly gotten the urge to do. Anyway, after going through the efforts of putting together a writing "staff" (I use quotes because they were really more of a group of lawless writer hobbyists spread across the country whose enthusiasm for the project was mostly in the realm of "alright, I'll do this"), reviewing and editing articles, coding and creating images for all the pages, building a user system, and even starting work on "issue 2", the project came to a sudden halt. I don't even remember why. I think my co-editor was no longer able to contribute as much as she had, but I also have this lingering feeling of "30 writers and 30 articles and 30 html pages and 30 sets of article images is a lot for one full-time student to handle every month" which may have something to do with it.

Whatever the reason, it was a project about which I was highly passionate, and I quit.

I… quit. I have a propensity for quitting. When the going gets tough, Justin gets going. But hear this: I vow to be better. I know I can be and I am going to do it because there is no excuse.

For real. I'm serious. It's happening.

Facebook

2010-08-14T02:42:00.000-07:00

I'm gonna be blunt and honest real quick... at this point I don't understand people who aren't on facebook. Yes, yes... I quit facebook for a few months... because I'm a dramatic shitface who couldn't handle finding out my ex was seeing someone new and it ENDED MY WORLD AND LIFE WAS OVER AND I COULDN'T HANDLE IT. *vomit*

Do you ever look at something you did and think, "Wow... I'm a stupid fuck."? That's what I think about my facebook-withdrawal. So, that being said, the only reason I see for you not to be on facebook is if you are emotionally challenged in some way or hate having friends. Do you hate friends? Perfect, stay off facebook. Otherwise wtf is your problem? Get on facebook, friend request me and let's get this party started.

P.S. This week was Hell squared and I wish vodka came out of my shower head.

P.P.S. Why has no one invented vodka showers??

P.P.P.S http://planetgreen.discovery.com/home-garden/use-vodka-for-more-than-martin.html

Officially Bad

2010-05-18T01:44:00.000-07:00

So it's pretty clear that I'm officially the worst at keeping my blog up to date. Even when I'm like "I'm gonna do it... I'm gonna get hardcore with my blog and blog the crap out of my life"... it lasts about a week then I disappear for 6 months.

I think my problem is I haven't figured out the purpose of my blog. It's not like anyone is actually reading it... so is it more of a journal? In which case... shouldn't I be writing in a journal and not on a publicly visible webpage?

Alright, I'm just going to do whatever I feel like doing whenever I write a post and you're going to like it. Right now I want to talk about how I've been working out lately (FINALLY) and am feeling pretty great about it. I'm a little worried though that I'll stop, because there always comes this point when I'm okay with how I look (not pleased and excited, just okay) and get tired of working out and think I can afford to skip a little because I look okay... then skip three months and become fatty-fat-fat-Justin again. Gross.

On that note, I'm going for a run now! And fyi - as soon as I have a six-pack I'm going to plaster pictures of it all over the internet. Don't you dare judge me.

2009 in Review

2009-12-30T13:36:00.000-08:00

It's certainly been an interesting year. Let's take a look at some of the more substantial events of the year, shall we?

New Year's Eve 2008 - I started off 2009 with a bang... by hosting an amazing party surrounded by amazing people and had an amazing time. 'Nuff said.
Job Hunt 2009 - Since I quit my job in December '08, I spent the first three months of 2009 frantically trying to find a job. There were some hopefuls, including a job at Paramount Vantage (which I'm glad didn't work out because they shut down this year), but nothing really panned out. Around the beginning of March, it was serious time... if I didn't find a job in the next couple of weeks I was going to move back to TX.
New Age - Shortly before my 26th birthday in March, I was contacted by someone who found my profile on LinkedIn... long story short: interviews were had and I was offered a job! Best. Birthday Present. Ever.
New Job - I began my employment at Luma Pictures (where I am still working) and after my three-month probationary period, they hired me on as staff! Hello, benefits!!
New Apartment - because of my long commute from Hollywood to Venice (50+ mins each way), I quickly realized the distance wasn't going to work for me if I were hired on as staff. So, I decided to move... and now I live with my amazing friend/new roommate Matt. We get along great, but because of our schedules, hardly see each other. Sadness. I plan on changing this next year.
New Hobby - Luma Pictures bought a boat this summer! So the producers decided to get a group together to become SCUBA certified - obviously I was all for it. It is an amazing, amazing thing... and I highly recommend it to everyone. We later took a weekend trip on the boat to Catalina Island to go SCUBA diving... awesome!!! I can't wait to go diving in Hawai'i or Australia.
New Friends - I've become quite fond of the people I work with. I know it's cliché, but they are really like a family here, and I'm so happy to be a part of that.
Romantic Slate Wiped Clean - On the romance side of things, it's been quite the journey, but I would say that I'm entering 2010 with a clean slate. No baggage. No lingering feelings. Nothing! It feels really great, and now I can go forward and do whatever I want and I will NOT ever look back. Thank. God.
Financial Recovery, Part I - This year also marked the beginning of my monetary recovery from Hell. 2008 killed me financially, as many of you know, and it is the main reason I left my previous job. But this year I finally stopped falling back, and was able to get my footing back. I think in 2010 I will actually make some headway in getting back to where I should be. I can't wait.

I think that pretty much covers it! For what started out as a potentially crap-tastic year, I think things turned out pretty well all in all. I hope 2009 brought the same goodness to you that it did to me, and even if it didn't, I hope 2010 is your year for recovery and renewal. Happy New Year!!!

Australia

2009-05-26T06:42:00.000-07:00

I really want to dump everything and move to Australia, is that wrong? I mean, let's take some time and evaluate why that would be totally awesome.
Reason #1: Beautiful beaches. The nicest beaches I've ever been to are in Hawai'i, and from what I know that's exactly what Australia is like. ANNDDD how could we possibly forget about the Great Barrier Reef?

Reason #2: Hot people. Aussiebum isn't just a brand... it's a word that means everyone in Australia has a hot ass. And let's be honest... who doesn't like that?

Reason #3: No chance it will fall into the ocean. The whole continent is an island... it's born out of seismic activity. That means, all it will do is continue to grow. Whenever all the ice caps melt, everything else might sink below the water but by God Australia will still be there.

Reason #4: Long live the Queen. I recently discovered that Australia is technically under the rule of the Queen of England. How awesome is that?? I've always wanted a Queen to look up to. Fierce!

Reason #5: Amazing people. Everyone I've ever met from Australia has been one of the nicest, down-to-earth, most amazing people ever. And I really do mean that. Additionally, I could call any of the ones I've met (some of which I've only known for 30 minutes), and they would help me out with anything I needed when it comes to places to see/visit/whatever in Australia... including letting me crash with them if I was visiting their neck of the woods. Woo!

Reason #6: It's Australia. I've always wanted to go there for as long as I can remember. It's always been my number 1 place to visit in the world. Visit OR live. I vote for living there.

Reason #7: Kangaroos and Koalas. Need I say more? I want both as pets.

And now you know my seven reasons for wanting to move to Australia. I'm sure there are more, but that's all I can really put into words right now.

Besides all that... I am dying for the new iPhone OS to come out. DYING. And I saw Star Trek for the second time last night. It was fun. Again.

Revelation in the Shower

2009-02-18T01:06:00.001-08:00

I came upon a revelation tonight that I believe explains the lack of success in my life thus far. I attended a Q&A panel at SAG on new media, and found myself during and afterward to be somewhat... inspired. The gears in my head were turning, and I was ready to put to paper all the ideas I had been tossing about in my brain but have never done anything about. And now here I am at 1:10 AM with not a single thing to show for it.

Why?

Well, I thought about it during my shower... which is my "revelations and critical thought" time... and came up with an explanation that I decided to blog about. I do this, of course, instead of getting my ideas out. Which brings me to my revelation: I don't finish things. I have these ideas about which I am 100% passionate, then nothing comes to fruition.

Join me for a moment as we take a stroll through Justin's Idea Graveyard: Harbinger, thejustinporter.com, my old blog, Last Run, Frantic, etc, etc, etc. Some of you know what those are, it's better for the rest of you if you stay in the dark. The point is nothing gets finished with me!

Well sirs, I'm am vowing here and now to change things. I've had two very inspiring moments in the month of February thus far. 1.) A birthday party I attended. There was a card-reader there who knew things about the past year of my life that could not have been guessed, and gave me some eerily specific advice about things to come. 2.) The Q&A panel on new media I attended tonight, which inspired me to reanimate a habitant of my idea graveyard: my production company.

A while ago I was discussing with a friend the idea of starting a production company dedicated to online episodics, or webisodes. And of course nothing ever happened with it. Well, the time has come, and it's going to happen, and you will all rue the day!

That is all.

Current Status:
Mood: Inspired!
Food: None, I used fluoride rinse and can't eat or drink for 30 minutes
Song: None. This is quiet time!

Hello, unemployment!

2009-02-15T15:47:00.000-08:00

I'm halfway through my second month of being unemployed, which is awesome. For those of you who don't know, I quit my previous job at the end of the year. I had been there for three years... it was time to move on.

But what's really exciting about this whole "no job" thing is the complimentary "no money" thing that goes along with it! I can't tell you how fun it is to be out when someone says "Do you want another drink?" and I get to reply, "No, I can't!" AWE. SOME.

But it's not all bad, it's giving me time to get things in order, re-vamp my resume, figure out what I really want to be doing AND work on small projects that I never could before. For example, right now I'm doing an editor evaluation to be considered to edit a pilot! I definitely wouldn't have been able to do something like that at my last job.

What's great about it is if I get the job, and the show gets picked up, I'll be the editor on the whole series! I'm not holding my breath, I'm just saying it would be cool.

In other matters, I made brownies for a friend's Valentine's Day party last night, and came home with more than half of what I made/took. And now I can't get them out of my head. All I can think about is stuffing them directly into my face, and I blame those jerks at the party that filled up on chicken parmesan and cupcakes (which were delicious) instead of my brownies.

Those that did have a brownie commented on how great they are, and on that note I'm going to take a moment to brag. I... make... amazing... brownies. I don't know why, it's a gift I've possessed for as long as I can remember. They're the perfect ratio of gooey to firm. They don't break apart; they stay together well; they're not so soft you worry about them being undercooked; they're perfect.

And I can achieve that perfection with any kind. Seriously... my store brand brownies will be just as amazingly good as the Betty Crocker ones I make. I don't know why or how... it just happens. It's as if when I was born, the brownie Gods said, "Yes, he's the one... we will give him the gift." But it is also a curse... just as well as I can make delicious brownies, I also want to eat said delicious brownies. Just be glad you know me, and can enjoy the gift without the repercussions of the curse.

Status:
Mood: Nervous!
Food: Brownies!
Song: "Up" -The Saturdays

Sarah Palin on SNL

2008-10-20T19:01:00.000-07:00

So it’s true… Sarah Palin finally appeared on SNL; and during a “Tina Fey as Sarah Palin” sketch, no less! What surprised me most was not that the SNL audience cheered for her, nor was it that Alec Baldwin came up and said nothing short of “Sarah Palin is a horrible human being” right in front of her, nor was it that Amy Poehler performed a rap poking fun at her “bridge to nowhere”.

No, what surprised me the most was that she, I’m pretty sure, had absolutely no idea she was being made fun of. After being the butt of a series of running jokes and taglines and sketches since this season’s premiere of SNL, she still trotted right down to the studio and had them do it right in front of her. Perhaps it would’ve been clearer had Amy smashed a pie in Palin’s face at the end of her rap? We will never know.

What we do know is this:

Tina Fey is undoubtedly hotter than Sarah Palin.
Sarah Palin has no business being in the white house… or any political office, in my opinion
Sarah Palin sketches are the best part of SNL so far this season.
This country will implode with Sarah Palin at the helm.

“At the helm?” you say? Yes. Let’s face it - if you vote for McCain/Palin, you are basically voting for Sarah Palin to be the next President of the United States, a travesty exceeded only by the fact so many people in the country would love it to happen. John McCain may be old, but the reason he may pass has more to do with the deadly skin cancer with which he has unfortunately become so familiar in his lifetime.

So, at this point in the game, my concerns for Sarah Palin as a leader of the free world has less to do with her political standpoints and more to do with the fact that she clearly has no idea what is going on at any point in time. I would love to see her take her maverick attitude and have a tea party with the communist leaders of the world to discuss gettin’ jobs for hard-workin’ people. Shut up, Palin. Get a job more suited to your qualifications and level of common sense. Let’s be honest, America… some people are good at walking up and down a stage in a bathing suit and an evening dress. And sometimes that’s as far as they should reach in life in order to prevent the collapse of the free world.

I heart Wall•E

2008-06-30T04:52:00.000-07:00

For those of you who haven't yet seen Wall•E (and for those of you who don't know what that is I feel sorry for you)... you should know that it's amazing. And you're missing out every second you go on without seeing it.

Let's be honest... I'm slightly biased. I love Apple. Steve Jobs is the CEO of Apple. Steve Jobs founded Pixar. Pixar made Wall•E. Although technically Disney now owns Pixar, but they still make wonderful things, apparently. The point is, I can see how you would say the only reason I love the movie so much is because of my bias, and I'm here to tell you you're incorrect.

It is, seriously, one of the cutest movies EVER. The amount of emotion and character they bring out of that little robot is amazing. Even more amazing is the lack of dialogue - which is only present for a small portion of the film when the humans are speaking. Of course, the story is focused on the robots, so we don't really see or hear the humans that often, thank God.

I've seen it twice this opening weekend, if that gives you a clearer picture of how much I loved it, and I nearly cried both times. Words can not express how I felt during this movie. Maybe that's not true... but I don't really want to explain what this movie made me feel because that's personal and I don't owe you anything!

Current Status:

Mood: Romantic

Food: Water!

Song: "2815 A.D." -Thomas Newman (Wall•E Soundtrack)

Change IS Good!

2008-06-18T14:18:00.000-07:00

For some reason, I'm really, really enjoying this day. I don't know why... but it's been really great.

For the past two weeks I've been totally stressed out at work, disappointed in other areas of life, and in an all-around funk. Or at least that's how it felt from my end... I know I complained about my work situation lately, but I don't think anyone really knew I was in a funk in general. Well now you do.

But for some reason today is different. It started the same way: waking up after a painstakingly short 4 hours of sleep. Then it was off to my chiropractor for an adjustment and a massage... and I think that's where everything started to change. The adjustment felt great, and then I had an nice hour-long massage, and the masseur and I had the most wonderful conversation!

Then it was off to work, which I usually dread (or at least I have for the past 2 weeks), but since I had such a good start I was in an unusually delightful mood. Maybe it's because I'm seeing Wanted tonight? Maybe. Maybe you should shut the hell up!

When I got to work it was just... nice. I didn't get stressed out, even though there are shitpiles of work to accomplish. The receptionist and I had fun conversations, my boss and I bitched about our web hosting service, I got a bunch of things done from my to-do list, and then my boss bought me lunch! Lovely!!!

Anyway I just felt the need to write about that and gloat a little. ALSO, I downloaded Firefox 3 today and I have to say... I'm impressed. It's quite enjoyable. I think I still prefer Safari but I need to compare them a little more. Yes, yes, I'm a nerd. Well you're a whore. Let's stop pointing fingers and just accept each other.

Current Status:
Mood: Excited!
Food: Subway? I ate it a while ago, though.
Music: None, I'm at work :(

Changing my blogs

2008-06-18T01:24:00.000-07:00

I haven't written in my blogs in a really long time. Things are going to change. I'm serious this time.

I haven't written an entry since February, and this is only the second one of 2008. Insane! I blame laziness. My laziness. You see... my website has been under construction for over a year. Maybe two. Perhaps even three. Look I don't keep track of that crap, which is why I haven't made a point of updating it properly.

Basically I decided to revamp the entire site, which I am now ACTUALLY in the process of doing. Anyway the point is you should be prepared for many, many upcoming changes. So that's enough of that.

By now you're probably thinking... "Why the f-bomb is Justin writing another blog entry at 1:30 in the morning?" Well I'm back to my old habits, sirs and madams, and I'll tell you right now... it's amazing. On another note... my friend Niki from high school is coming to LA this weekend!!

I did get to see her recently when I was home, however that was the first in a very long time. As you can imagine, I'm pee-all-over-the-floor excited. "Isn't that what dogs do?" Yes. "Shouldn't you be peeing in your pants instead?" Probably. But riddle me this... would you rather clean the floor, or clean your pants and have to wear them again?

That's what I thought.

Besides Niki's impending arrival, I am also SUPER excited about a free screening I'm seeing tomorrow of Wanted. Awesome!!! Myself and a few other friends are going, and it's going to be fabulous and wonderful. Sunshine and butterflies! I'll let you know how it is.

For now, I'm off to bed... have a lovely night!

Current Status:

Mood: Excited

Food: None, I'm stupidly fat right now.

Music: "I Kissed a Girl" - Katy Perry

New Year, New Site, New Everything!

2008-02-27T06:08:00.000-08:00

Yes I realize we're a little bit into 2008 already, BUT compared to the last time I wrote... it's pretty much the new year still.

By the way, I'm taking improv classes, did I tell you? I'm pretty sure the answer is 'no' so, three cheers for new and exciting information! Yeah I just finished my last class of level 4, and each level is 8 weeks... so I've been doing it for about eight months now. And if my calculations are correct, that's around the last time I wrote. Wow! That's crazy!

Anyway, hello. Here I am. Many things to discuss. No time! I never announced that I got an iPhone (not in my blog, anyway)... but I did get one and I love love LOVE it! It's pretty much changed the way I live life. I don't like being so connected and clingy to material possessions, but... wow... I seriously think I would die without it now that I've had it.

Also, a writer's strike happened and was resolved since I last wrote... and that sucked a lot. My pay went down... though I shouldn't complain because so many people lost their jobs, and so many businesses shut down completely. Sad times! But things are gearing back up, and I'm so ready for it!

ALSO, one of the things that wasn't really clear was the fact that I moved out of my apartment with Stefanie and moved in with my friend John. Long story... ugly mess... things are wonderful and lovely now. Yay!

AND Porter Productions is officially my registered company name! Weird! And wonderful! Christmas/winter break was nice... I took three weeks off (not the best decision during a strike, but I made the arrangements before it happened so suck it!) and went to South Dakota for a week (I was supposed to go to Hawaii with family but there was a family emergency so we went to SD instead), then to NYC for a week, then Texas for a week.

New York was amazing... I finally got to spend New Year's in New York and it was the highlight of my winter break. ANNDD I got to see a bunch of friends from college I haven't seen in YEARS. Literally. Yay Jas and Sue and Lauren and company! I wish I could've stayed longer... it was way too short of a trip, and unfortunately because of the timing they were all back to work right after New Year's so I was wandering the city alone for four days, but I loved it!! I also got to see Mo and Tiff! YAY! :( I miss them...

Current Status:
Mood: Excited!
Food: McDonald's... ugh I need to stop it!
Song: "Perfect Day" -Hoku

John and I love bad movies. Apparently.

2007-06-15T00:32:00.000-07:00

It seems to be hit or miss when we decide to rent movies. And we seem to be missing a lot.

Tonight we were both in the mood to watch a movie, I had a free pass for Blockbuster, so we went, perused the store and decided we both had a sinful desire to see Ghost Rider. I know... big mistake. We get it. Shut up.

Needless to say, it was awful. No, I mean AWFUL. So, SO, so bad. Not too long ago we made a similar mistake and rented Smokin' Aces. Wow. I didn't know big budget movies could be so incredibly horrible. I was shocked. And horrified.

But in a way, I feel a sense of renewed confidence. John mentioned that if THESE were getting made for MILLIONS of dollars and the people making them were also getting tons of money for it... WE could certainly one up them. Right? I mean, I'm 90% certain that if I went out with my camera and made a movie over the next week, making everything up as I go, of course... I could pitch it to Fox (or whoever made Smokin' Aces) and quickly be one of the richest people in the country.

But I have a full-time job right now so that's not going to happen. It does give me a nice boost in confidence for my career, however. I'm fairly certain you'd agree that the things I've written would beat Ghost Rider and Smokin' Aces combined.

Anyway... this Sunday is Father's Day and I'm sending my dad a box set of "Keeping up Appearances." For those of you who haven't seen or heard of it... it's a wildly amusing British comedy that my dad and I used to enjoy on a regular basis.

What are you doing for Father's Day? I want to hear about it, so you should tell me. And I'm seeing Fantastic 4 2 on Saturday, which I'm excited about. Not so much for the movie itself but for the fact I'm seeing it on the Fox lot because Matt works there. Yay! It's going to be a fun-filled day for Justin and the Gang! (That's what we call ourselves, btw)

On a more serious note, I'm pretty sure I've lost any sense of financial consciousness or responsibility I had left. But that may be due to the recent move to my new apartment. All that crap costs money... AND I'm still waiting to get my deposit from the girl who's moving into my old apartment... AND Stef still owes me money for bills. Oh AND! Exciting news... for me... John and I don't have to pay rent next month. I KNOW. How badass are we?

It's not as badass as it seems because we paid a double deposit... but it sure feels cool. I could punch through a wall it feels so cool. But I won't. What I will actually do now is go to bed because it's ass late and I have an early and long day tomorrow. So, goodnight all! Have a blissful slumber or something. Bye!

Current Status:
Mood: Ass tired
Food: Water, but I had ice cream earlier
Song: "Your Disco Needs You" -Kylie Minogue

iWant an iPhone

2007-06-08T01:17:00.000-07:00

The iPhone is coming June 29, and I'm pretty much exploding at the seams just waiting THAT long. Imagine how I've felt the past 6 years.

I admit... it sounds little obsessive. BUT, ever since I got my first iPod in 2001, I've been walking around, iPod, phone and PDA in tow, wishing to GOD that Apple would make some kind of PDA/Smartphone that would encompass all three devices and I could consolidate!

That was six years ago, people. I've been waiting a hell of a long time... so I think it's only fair that I be a little excited. And while my phone broke a few months ago and I just signed another 2-year contract with T-Mobile... I'm 90% sure I'm breaking that damn contract and walking straight to the Apple store.

I should probably be a little more drunk for this blog entry, I must admit. I guess I'm not feeling that usual crazy 'Justin Porter Energy' tonight... so I apologize profusely if my writing seems a little stale. Well fuck you if you think it's stale! I don't see you writing anything. Bipolar!

Moving on, I'm excited about the progress of Frantic... as many of you know I was originally writing it as a film and turned it into a series instead. I feel a little bad about it though, because we even held auditions for the main characters and went through three weekends of auditions. Guess who never called any of those actors back after the callbacks? Me. It was me.

So, to those of you who were terrific (and who I'd LOVE to put in the series, fyi)... I'm sorry. :-\ I'm sorry. :(

I'm sorry...

That's actually an "American Dad" quote. PS I LOVE that show and if you haven't watched it you really should. I've taken an audio clip from the scene I just referenced and, just to bring it full circle, included a screenshot of what's going on so you can visualize it as well. Basically they got tied up and... oh you'll get it. The picture is from his second "I'm sorry". There's actually a ton of really funny things in this episode... perhaps I'll post about them in my next entry? Perhaps. But for now you just get this one! Enjoy!

Hahaha... oh dear that's funny. Diane and I have already started saying it. And by 'it' I mean the 'I'm Sorry' times three deal. Well good folks of internet land... I guess I should be heading to bed. It's almost 1:30... UGH and I didn't go running. I found out I ran 5.7 miles yesterday. That may not seem like much for you, but it's a lot for me... and it felt great. I subconsciously took tonight off, I think.

Current Status:
Mood: Hilarious
Food: Diet coke... my most loyal companion
Song: "He's Alive" -A Girl Called Jane

Justin = Bad at staying on top of his blogs

2007-02-01T04:47:00.000-08:00

Yes it's been three and a half months since I last wrote an entry... I know, I know... I'm awful. But I had to make the first entry of 2007 a REALLY good one, so I waited until now.

First let's the get the pleasantries out of the way...

How was your holiday? How was your new year? Mine was good, thanks... I stayed in LA, fam came to visit and it was a little awkward (you know... divorce...), got a new computer, got fed up with my old coche and bought myself a new-used car, had a blast on new year's (if you can't tell by my myspace pics), got a promotion at work, and ever since I started back at work I've been working about 11 hours every weekday... and now I'm exhausted. Whew!

Diane = Great

2006-10-13T00:28:00.000-07:00

I haven't seen Diane in what seems like forever... but we hung out tonight, is the point... and had buckets of fun.

Basically all we did was go to the Cheesecake Factory, but what an adventure!! I'm not going to recap the whole evening, but I'll discuss some of the highlights. Apparently if you go to wikipedia and search for "list of idioms" you'll find a huge, huge and great list of idioms which I'm excited to check out after I finish writing this. One of which, and one I thoroughly enjoy, is "[something] is like nailing jelly to a wall." So, for example, "Trying to get my dad and my mom to be civil is like nailing jelly to a wall." Now if that isn't great I really don't know what is.

I can't believe how much fun I have with Diane... if you don't know her, you seriously need to reconsider your life, because I'll say this right now: you're missing out. You know how some people say "you're not missing much" about some things? Well it doesn't apply to Diane... it's quite the opposite in her case. I like how this entry is turning out to a Diane Shrine & Tribute.

Anyway I'll move on... so I believe I posted (maybe on myspace and not my blog, but posted nevertheless) the nutrigrain commercial I love so much, and encouraged many of you to check it out as well. Well, low and behold, earlier this week a man by the name of James Leary comes walking into SpeedReels (where I work) to have his reel edited. Didn't know him from Adam... but what's one of the things he pulls out to edit into his reel? Yeah, the nutrigrain commercial... he's the lead guy, and I instantly become one of those star-struck idiots telling how much I LOVE the commercial blah blah blah.

Anyway... it was just funny and I thought I'd share. I wanted to tell Jordan since he was the one to initially showed it to me and would most appreciate it... but yeah that didn't happen. The point is, I met the guy... it was exciting, and now, back by popular demand... THE NUTRIGRAIN COMMERCIAL!!!

Current Status:
Mood: Wishing I saw Diane more...
Food: Belly-full of Cheesecake Factory yummies
Song: Look On the Floor (Angel City Remix) -Bananarama

Part-ay!

2006-10-12T06:02:00.000-07:00

Our party this past Saturday was a success... but I'm a little disappointed in some of my friends.

Yes, it's true... people can't be blamed for things that are out of their hands, like... having promised a friend to go to a concert with them that night or, USC's football game on the same day. But let's be reasonable... everyone had PLENTY of notice for this event, and the SC football game was at like 2:30 or something ridiculously early, leaving ample time to make it to the party on time, or at least relatively early... and yet that still didn't happen.

And this kind of excuse for people not showing up/coming extremely late didn't just happen to a few people here and there... it pretty much happened across the board. And I thought, at first... no problem. Whatever. And then it hit me... I was PISSED OFF. I'm still pissed. I'm so, so, so mad at everyone that I don't really want to talk to or see most of my friends right now. Is that wrong? I don't care.

Besides most of my friends being dicks this weekend... the party was fun, and I enjoyed the rest of the weekend as well. This week, however, has been another story. It has basically felt like 10 Monday's in a row already, and Thursday hasn't even started yet. I would say I'm going to stop bitching now, but you're not getting off that easy. I have things to say and you're going to read them, by God.

I was putting up some pictures on myspace from the party this weekend... and I realized how horribly, really truly horribly non-photogenic I am. There's no fucking way any of those pictures were going up without some MAJOR retouching all over my stupid face. What the fuck? I blame my parents. Why, you ask? Because instead of putting their foot down when I was young and getting me on acutane (esp since it would've been REALLY cheap through military insurance), they let those jerk doctors put me on pills and topical cremes that never ever worked... and if anything made my face a hideous medical disaster.

I stayed late at work yesterday for a client that HAD to get her reel edited, and my boss said I could come in late this morning to compensate... and instead of getting extra sleep, I've stayed up all night and it's now 6am. WHAT THE FUCK is wrong with me? Anyone? Crazy... I'm seriously crazy or mentally unstable or have syphilis or something. Anyway, I have a bunch of new music since the last time I wrote, which was ages ago... so I'll have to start writing a bunch of new entries just to share my new musical finds with ya'll.

Current Status:
Mood: Still pissed.
Food: Nada... but probably something from Starbuck's to wake me up later
Song: "Turn It Up (Paul Oakenfold Remix)" -Paris Hilton

V for VenJustin!

2006-08-20T01:56:00.000-07:00

I bought V for Vendetta on DVD today and it was pretty much my favorite purchase this year.

Today has been pretty great. I woke up late, cleaned house, watched a movie, then went to Chick-fil-A with Yas. Um, yeah... can we take a minute to discuss the fact that I haven't been to Chick-fil-A in like... a year? It's beyond ridiculous. I may be exaggerating with the whole "year" thing... but I don't think I'm that far off. I'm serious, it's been a while.

Nonetheless, my CFA deprivation was ended today, followed by a ritual visit to Dairy Queen for dessert, then to Target for the purchase of my beloved DVD. I went with Yas, who bought season 8 of Friends and season 1 of Sex and the City. Then we came home and watched things. It was great. No schedule, no to-do's... we just did whatever the hell we wanted to, whenever we wanted.

AND not only did I clean house in the morning, but while we watched Friends as well. So it was laid-back as well as productive. Does it get any better? I'm gonna go with NO. And I'm enjoying having the apartment to myself... not to say that I don't enjoy having Stefanie here... no no, let's not jump to conclusions, jerks. Truth be told, I miss her, even though she's only going to be gone for 9 days (in Germany w/ the fam).

BUT it is nice having the place to myself... I've never lived alone, so it's a little taste of what I'm missing. But I really enjoy having a roommate so I don't think I want that yet. I just know now that I wouldn't hate it... which is a nice thing to know.

So here's a question... does anyone have my widget? Or ever use it? I really need to know. Because I have new versions MADE, just not released because I don't think anyone actually uses them... but they're fun to make. Anyway, let me know... email me or something, just so I know.

And I want to go to Vegas sometime relatively soon... I wish it could happen before Mo leaves but I don't think that will happen. I like how I'm talking about/referencing all this shit like you know what I'm talking about. Mo is leaving/moving/blah blah. She's doing some traveling first, then moving to... NY perhaps? I think it's all still up in the air. But she wants to leave in a few weeks, apparently.

I need to write in my blog more... I'm sorry for my lack of attention to it. I guess it would be a lot easier to reference things and not have to explain myself if I just made consistent entries. I want to start a podcast soon. Ugh too many things to talk about. I'm actually really tired even though it's not even 2am. Man... random thoughts spewing out. I've been like this in conversation a lot lately too... just, talking and talking, topic to topic... non-stop, baby!

One last thing... so yes, I do enjoy Christina Aguilera's new "Ain't no other man" song she's got going... but I hate, hate, HATE the fact that she says, "You got what I want boy and I want it." I'm just like, yes... I know you want it... you just said that. You don't have to say it twice in a row, Christina, thanks. Maybe you should try, "You got what I want boy and I like it" or "...and I need it"... but no, you're right, redundancy is better. Who am I anyway? Just the person who has to hear it... you're actually the one that has to sing it and make millions because people like paying to hear you say the same thing twice in one breath. I still enjoy the song, though, so whatever.

Anyway, I'm heading to bed. Have a good night, guys.

Current Status:
Mood: Tired. Yes, it's a mood.
Food: Nada.
Song: "This Is Not A Test" -Oppenheimer